So the floor in my kitchen is crap. Some genius decided untreated plywood would make a good sub-floor. Did I mention they put self-adheasive tiles over top? Now I’m no expert in floors, but doesn’t that seem rather retarded to you? Cracks in tiles….add water….ta da! Rotted wood and unsticky-fied floor.

Purty, ain't it?

*sigh* The really sad thing is it was only the beginning…..

The original plan was to just lay new tile. DramaBoy’s dad informed me the wood wasn’t “that bad” and go ahead with the new tile over top. Ummm, okay? I did a test tile where it was already torn up and quickly decided that just wasn’t possible. No fucking way was new tile going to stick to the rotted wood. No biggy, we’ll just tear up the sub-floor and replace it with treated wood.

Enter project #2.

Every time I walk into that kitchen I see that ugly floor. Since we had a possible solution for it, I start scanning the rest of the kitchen. I thought, well hell! If I put down a new floor, the cupboards are REALLY going to look like crap. What I need to do is repaint them before we do the floor. Problem is, there is 3 layers of paint and wood sealant on them, and no fucking way I can just “paint over”.

Who the fuck thought ANY of these colors were a good idea?

Stupid me thought I would just send SexyTechy in to sand them down. If only it had been that easy. We ended up having to take them off the hinges, and buy 3 containers of paint stripper. Once we got all set up in the garage and finally started getting some where, I spotted something else in the kitchen.

Enter project #3.

With all the doors off, I can see inside the cupboards….

Another massive project. Yippie.

Painted wood trim, like the rest of this stupid house, and it’s chipped. And let’s not overlook the fashionable Minnie Mouse contact paper. That crap was also in the drawers which luckily we managed to peel off relatively easy. I’m sure under this will be a layer of orange mushroom print contact paper and probably 2 or 3 layers of paint.

Let’s recap. It started with an idea to tear up the floor and lay new. Then we decided to do the cupboard doors and drawers. And now we’re planning to strip all the insides of the cupboards. Did I mention my house is about 150 years old? I can’t wait to see what else we find. *sigh*

Drama Princess has decided on soccer again, thus officially making me a soccer mom. I can’t say I totally hate it. Some games get awfully tense, and the mothers often get a little heated with eachother. Like the time my mom was making comments on how bad some other kid was, only to realise the mother was sitting directly in front of us, and we got some pretty nasty looks. *laugh* I swear that lady was going to punch us. This year should be lots more intense, since she’s now in the 3rd-5th grade group.

If standing in the heat watching my youngest run laps on the field wasn’t fun enough, she’s also getting involved with Girl Scouts and Student Counsil. I have no fucking idea how I’ve managed to raise a responsible kid active in the community, because she sure as hell hasn’t gotten it from me.

Like my best friend said…”It’s good for em, even if we don’t know if we’re comin or goin”. Couldn’t agree more! It probably is good for her, but it’s probably going to stress me out to the max. Especially because I’ve got a difficult and time consuming class right now. The calender is already filling up, and I don’t even have half the schedules for meetings and practices.

My parents had it so good and don’t even know it. I never went out for sports or other after school activities, save for chorus-related crap. Yup, I was a choir geek and nothing else. Lucky bastards never had to run me a million different places.

In other news, Drama Boy has got his own special ed teacher with only one other kid in his room. Now if he has one of his famous meltdowns, he can go hide in a back room in the class. Yay! No more locking him in a dark room as punishment for being in the Autism spectrum. Good thing he switched schools -if SexyTechy would have caught them doing something bad to my kid, he would unleashed a crazy on them that probably would send him back to prison.

Anyway, now that the kids are back to school I’m finally getting shit done. Summer was dragging on and I was getting super lazy. Glad to be back into the swing of things and feeling a sense of accomplishment!

First let me say I am SUPER thankful for a slightly retarded teacher. She’s made this class pretty easy because she’s quite the numbnut. If you need proof, here’s one of her replies from a recent discussion:

I get migraines also. Years ago, I got them more frequently usually toward the end of the week, Fridays and sometimes Thursdays. A professor in biochemistry told me that many migraine sufferers have migraine headaches near the end of the week. He said that more industries dump toxins into the environment near the end of the week because government agencies do not tend to inspect industrial plants on Fridays. That may have changed by this time, but I use to go to work on Fridays is a migraine so that my supervisors did not think I was calling in sick on Fridays. One side on my head would swell so badly, the would send me home fearful that I would have a stroke. If I could have proven that my problem was caused by specific industrial pollutants, I may have been able to address the problem with more information.

Ummm….really?

Now I’m just as much of a tree huger as any girl who grew up in the country. I don’t believe in spraying chemicals at all, or dumping toxins in the water. But this…..well this is just stupid. You really honestly think that because factories aren’t “watched” on Fridays, that they dump a massive enough amount of toxins to cause someone to have migraines at the end of the week?

Wouldn’t a much better explanation be lack of sleep and exhaustion from a long work week? I don’t know about her, but I hate getting up early. I also don’t sleep too well at night, if I even sleep at all. If I was working a regular 9-5 job, the end of the week would suck ass for me too. Actually, during the school year, it DOES get harder for me to get up with the kids later in the week, and I DO start praying for a day to sleep in.

Anyway, this was just too far fetched not to share. Makes me wonder if maybe -I- can get a job as a teacher!

I’m on vacation. Not in a fancy hotel or on an exquisite beach, though. I’m sitting in my bedroom.

For damn near all of summer vacation, we have had a hard time leaving the comfort of our cool, quiet bedroom. Most the time a perfect 69 degrees, the bedroom is complete with internet TV that I’m still paying off, all my sewing crap at arms reach, and munchies. Best of all, there’s a lock on the door to keep out the screaming heathens, who incidentally I forfeited the livingroom to.

Oh yes, it’s paradise.

But seriously, if I don’t get off my ass soon I’m going to end up being one of those 800 pound people who long ago lost the ability to leave their bed. We’ve gone so far as to allow my 8 yr old to make supper sometimes just so I don’t have to be away from my spot for more than 5 minutes (in my defense, though, she loves to cook, so it doesn’t count as slave labor!).

I’m sure once SexyTechy get a job, the desire to stay in bed all day will dwindle.

If our hide-away wasn’t perfect enough, tonight we are apparently without kids. Unfortunately there isn’t anything decent playing at the movie theaters, so it appears we’re staying home. Looks like our “night out” will be spent outside the bedroom and in the livingroom, perhaps watching a movie on Netflix or from Redbox.

Works for me!

Something pretty amazing has happened this week. I actually loving school again. The class I have is actually interesting, and I’m not minding getting involved in the conversation. What’s more amazing is the fact I even looked up additional reading on my own.

So what’s the class? Global Change. I know, it sounds incredibly boring, but it’s actually a topic I care about. The whole people destroying the environment thing is something I’m rather passionate about.

You see, I grew up in a rural area surrounded by prairie and woods. 20-some acers was my backyard. But growing up I watched a whole lot of new houses destroy a lot of the nature around us. My area was untouched for years until some douchebag builder bought the woods and built himself a house in part of my playground. His 4-wheelers and hunting hobby all but destroyed the woods in a matter of a year or two. My mom moved shortly after, because she couldn’t bare to watch him destroy the entire woods, and we both know he eventually would.

To say I’m a bit of a tree hugger is an understatement. Fresh out of high school, I attempted to contact wildlife protection agencies in the area to stop that woods being destroyed. I failed, and the builder had his way. But I take comfort in knowing his basement is never dry, concidering he build his stupid house on top of a creek.

So yeah, I’m going to enjoy this class. A lot. And it’s just icing on the cake that the teacher is a bit of a numb-nut who has the worst grammar I’ve ever seen. I didn’t even know you COULD be a teacher at a college with such poor writing skills. Her very first post to the class was a simple check-in post that stated “Just let me know you are hear”. Do you see that? HEAR? How about HERE? Others posts of her’s haven’t been much better, so the writing portion of this class should be a piece of cake.

I am one relieved mother fucker to have finished math and Spanish finally. That was 20 weeks of pure hell. Now it’s back to writing reports – in ENGLISH – and discussing topics of interest. WOO HOO! Now if I can just get a decent learning team, we’ll be all set. Although I’m not holding my breath.

I can’t believe it’s Friday again already. This week has just been a blur with all the crazy shit I’ve been trying to accomplish. Here’s a run down of what I’ve been up to:

Sewing
A bit “mommy-ish” and geeky, but it’s something I like doing. I tend to avoid girly-girl crap, but like sewing cool looking pillows and whatnot. Right now I’m working on a kitty couch. Yeah I know, it’s a little weird making a bed for cats. But that’s how I roll.

Next I’ll be working on more pillows. Going to be selling stuff on Etsy, the craft-crap site, very soon. I’m seriously broke and in dire need of another income stream. Might as well be something I do while watching Ghost Whisper or other random TV shows in our room. I hide from children often, since they are driving me FUCKING NUTS this summer. So hiding and sewing it is!

Gardening
This has been one crazy-ass obsession the last few weeks. I’ve planted herbs, flowers, started bonsai trees, planted real tree seeds, and other crap outside. There’s a master plan in my head to use what I’m growing for various things to make money (like dream pillows with herbs inside, or cat toys with homegrown catnip, and bonsai trees at farmers market). It’s a long-term thing, and probably won’t be rolling for a few months. But it’s all started at least, and the ADHD part of me is silenced for a while. At least with this shit.

Blogging
I had a bout of insomnia earlier in the week that resulted in 3 hours of sleep in 2 days and multiple blog posts across a few sites. Go me! Feels good to be a little bit ahead of the game with weekly posts. Especially when the time used what when I would have been tossing and turning in bed, and not sleeping anyway. Don’t you just fucking hate that?

School Work
I’m really starting to hate math with a passion. H.A.T.E. And the people on my team, as usual, are a bunch of assholes. I will be one happy camper when I’m finished with school … in 2 years. Sigh. At least math is damn near finished, with only a few days left. I just have one huge fucking test left to take. BORING!

Photos
As with all of my temporary obsessions, the fascination has mostly faded here. I haven’t done as much lately with pictures, but I have snapped a few here and there. I have some ideas rolling around in my head as to what to do with my picture collection that involves plexiglass and frames. Don’t ask, it’s still just a random idea that hasn’t fully formed yet.

That’s it for now folkes. I’m fixing to take DramaBoy to his dad’s in a few hours (THANK GOD his dad’s wife left them so my boy can visit his dad again…he was starting to freak the fuck out on us), and pull some money out of my ass for alcohol. Rum as usual, and a bottle of coke to go with it sounds mighty fucking tasty about now.

Have a great weekend!

I’m probably going to be conscidered the “crazy cat lady” after this post, but I don’t really give a fuck. Yesterday we got a new kitten, so I felt the need to gush over how freakin’ adorable he is, and  introduce every member of the furry family.

Starting from the oldest….

Taz Cat – DramaBoy’s Cat

Often called “Old Fucker” by SexyTechy, because of how long he’s been with us. Taz turns 11 this year, and is only a few months younger than DramaBoy. We’ve had him since he was an itty bitty runt of a kitten.

Winter Kitty – DramaPrincess’ Cat

Yes, that’s Taz again in the picture. But to the right of him is Winter. He looks cool as shit with his siamese/tabby markings and bright blue eyes. We call this one DramaPrincess’ cat because half the time he’s on her bed.

Nemo – Mine.

This little shithead is my shadow, and we are totally attached to eachother. I know I’m not really suppose to play favorites, but he’s always been mine. His actual name was Nemo (named by the kids), but has nicknames including “Nemokins” and “Princess”. I swear this cat is gay but I love him anyway.

Lil Smokey – SexyTechy’s

Sexy Techy has been bitching for months for this cat, and FINALLY got him. Holy cow he’s adorable though. He snuggles, mews and plays. .. you know, all the normal cute shit baby kitties do. He really is an awesome cat, and I’m totally glad SexyTechy has a kitty of his own now.

And no Kelly, you can’t eat him.

The last few weeks I’ve had an obsession with little green children. No, I’m not on acid (as fun as that sounds). I’m talking about plants.

I wish I could say the plants in question are of the smoking variety, but it’s not legal in our state yet. (Fingers crossed they get it approved soon!) Nah, I’ve been playing with herbs (the eating kind), flowers, maple trees, and cherry seeds inside, plus tomatoes and flowers outside. I prefer messing with the inside ones more lately, since it’s been hot as a mother fucker outside.

So what’s the fucking point of playing in the dirt? There’s a few reasons, actually.

1. I want to breath
I keep feeling like I can’t breathe inside, but I have a feeling it’s mold somewhere behind the walls or in the roof. I figure if I can’t afford to remove the mold, I might as well try upping the oxygen levels in my house so I’m not always gasping for breath. So far it’s been working a bit, even though most of the plants are behind closed doors right now.

2. Growing shit is cool
I love watching shit that -I- planted grow. Granted I tend to kill them all at some point, but I always have high hopes for them. 4o’clocks are sprouting in my bedroom, purple basil is in my office, and maple saplings are looking pretty healthy in my bay window. A few indoor flowers have died, but I blame that on a gay-tarded seed starter kit. Oh sure they sprouted, but once I dropped them in real dirt the majority of them died. Fail. So I’m sticking to just planting seeds directly in my kick-ass backyard soil.

3. I fucking love bonsai trees
Are those not the coolest damn trees ever?? I know they are a lot of work and take a shitload of time to grow into a fucking awesome looking trees, but that might work to my advantage here. I’m all about losing interest in projects super fast, and these MUST be left alone for long periods of time to grow. I still have to check them every day and possibly water them, but for the most part they shouldn’t take up gobs of time out of my day. I’m giving it a go with cherry seeds I bought (some, anyway…most are getting planted outside next spring) and maple saplings that I found outside growing where they shouldn’t have been. (maple trees pictured below)

Yes, those are butter and whipped cream containers. I rock.

So because I’ve gone overboard on the whole growing thing, my fingernails constantly have dirt under them. If you couldn’t tag me as white trash before, I’m sure that will help a little.

In alcohol news, the reason we’ve not been hosting “White Trashed Night” is due to lack of funds for a recipe we REALLY want to try out. SexyTechy had me thinking there was more ingredients, but now that I see it, we’ve got everything.

Caribou Lou
1 1/2 parts 151 proof rum
1 part Malibu coconut rum
5 parts pineapple juice

Om nom nom. I just hope there’s enough coconut rum left to make it, since I’ve been tapping into it.

That’s all for today folks. Hope you have a great 4th of July weekend and don’t blow off any appendages!

Years ago I made the mistake of putting my idiot dumbshit of an ex on my checking account. After he left us and took a few hundred dollars in the process (that weren’t his, since he hadn’t worked in months), I closed the account and switched banks.

I was totally in love with US Bank after that, because it was so easy to manage. Lots of locations, online banking, an easy savings account….whole nine yards. But a few weeks ago we got a letter that made me mad as fuck – their free checking is no longer free.

According to their letter, we can avoid the $6.95/month fee if we…..

a. Have a $1500 balance at all times, or

b. Have direct deposit of $500/month.

Yeah. I have neither.

How could they be so stupid? Those who can afford the fee aren’t going to be paying it, and those of us who can’t are saying “fuck off we’re leaving”. They won’t make a dime out of this stunt, and they’re going to end up losing more accounts than anything else. STUPID!

If this wasn’t bad enough, they’ve started screwing with their online banking. And with me.

Over the last week, I’ve been trying to get my account moved over to a new bank. I cleared out my savings account at US Bank and dumped it all into my checking to pay this month’s bills. Well they decided that payments made online – direct payments from my checking – didn’t really need to be posted for several days.

Thursday night I sat down and paid bills online. By Monday, nothing was posted. Thinking that maybe one didn’t go through, I paid it again. Tuesday it appeared, and Thursday there it was again. Double payment to my cable company, and I’m in the hole. No savings to cover it either.

I went down to the bank yesterday and explained to them their site is fucked, and I paid a bill twice thinking it wasn’t paid because of they didn’t post it. Their advice to me was call the cable company and tell them to reverse the charge. To get an idea of how “easy” this would be, see the post entitled “You suck MediaCom“. I told them hell to the no I’m not calling them, and that the bank needs to just reverse the charge. “We can’t do that it’s already posted” they say, and I’m super pissed at this point. The only thing I have to save my ass is one little $70 check that I WAS going to put in my new bank account. But oh no, it’s got to cover the mess US Bank made.

What I found most amusing is how they won’t take responsibility for their actions. “It’s the company website not posting it” they tell me, despite the fact that I’ve ALWAYS seen it posted within hours if not the next day, and it was FOUR DIFFERENT BILLS I paid. So basically they’re trying to tell me all 4 companies have changed their policy. Yea I don’t think so douchbags.

It just really pisses me off how much large corporations screw the little guys. All the big boys want the bills in their pockets, and never stop to think about how this is going to effect the customers.

If I wasn’t such a pampered suburban chick, I’d run away to a place where bills didn’t exist.

You may have heard me bitch about this before, but the one thing I absolutely hate about school is the fucking LEARNING TEAMS.

Oh. My. God. I want to just kick these fuckers in the head and say “stop being so fucking stupid!”. EVERY FUCKING CLASS I get these numbnuts who have a million different excuses for why they aren’t submitting shit for the team when they need to be. And they are the DUMBEST excuses.

Right now I’m in “College Math 1″, which really isn’t all that complicated. Basic algebra really, which I rock at. No big deal. It’s the douchbags on my team that have me beating my head against the wall…AGAIN. Thank GOD we’re all almost done with our last assignment.

There are 4 people total on my team. In the last 5 weeks, there’s been a death, pnemonia, lost internet for the entire weekend, and (this is my fucking favorite) one guy wasn’t able to participate because he was “the lead investigator in a homicide/murder over the weekend” at his part time job. Riiiiiiiiight.

Now this guy must have solved the murder pretty damn quick, because this weekend he’s on vacation. This is the post we got at the beginning of the week…

“I took the liberty of putting together a timeline if you will, of completion. I have a busy weekend this weekend and will be leaving on Friday to go out of town for the entire weekend, and would prefer not to have to worry about logging on on my vacation.”

Then followed by….

“I think we can get it doneby early Friday, but we have to haveall parties on board because I do not want to have to lug my computer around on a leisure weekend. I don’t think my wife would be too happy considering tis isone of the few we get to spend together alone with no children.”

You know what I say to that? Too fucking bad. I’ll get my part of the assignment done on Saturday, like I always do. Fuck your fucking vacation, you are IN SCHOOL DUMBFUCK.

Also, this fucknut thinks it’s kosher to “outline” what the entire rest of the team is going to do. Ummmm, excuse me? Again, fuck you fucker, this is a TEAM and you are NOT the fucking leader.

My reply to all this was basically “I’m doing MY PART Saturday, and I’m doing what -I- want to do it on, so kiss my white trash ass”. Sure I could have gotten it done on Friday, but just because that guy was being a jerk I waited until Saturday.

Yup, I’m an ass.